The Madness of Humanity

I knew a man who took no risks. He lived by this philosophy, "The devil that you know is better than the devil that you don't know." In this way, he stayed put with things as they are. When he was offered a new job, he refused to take it, even though he did not like his current job at all, but the new job might be worse, he'd think. He lived in a big old home that cost him a great deal to keep up but when we suggested he downsize, he claimed that something worse was sure to happen to the new home. This was Samuel the prophet's tendency as well, to stick with what he knew. Samuel did not like change. But Samuel was also a prophet and when the rubber hit the road, he did what God asked.

At first, Samuel did not want to anoint a King. God was supposed to be King of Israel and when the people asked for a human king, Samuel the prophet was disappointed. He hated the idea and the subsequent change that would ensue. He refused until God reminded him who was in charge. After some discussion with God, Samuel annointed Saul.

Saul was like a movie star. He stood a head taller than everyone else. He was so handsome, there was no one who could hold a candle to him. He was one tough, super-hero type guy. So he was the best and most obvious choice for king of Israel. He was everyone's first choice.

Saul ruled for a number of years before he began to crack. Maybe it was his handsomeness that led to him thinking too much of himself. Maybe he became used to getting his own way, to being honored, revered. Whatever happened, Saul began to do what he wanted instead of what God wanted and from that moment on, he was doomed.

God abandoned Saul and told Samuel that it was time to anoint another king. Samuel did not like the idea. Well, technically, Saul was still on the throne. And Samuel did not like change. He was used to Saul, faults and all. Samuel grumbled, but finally agreed to listen to God's instructions and go to Jesse's house to anoint a king.

Samuel travels to the home of Jesse. There is this great scene where Samuel watches as the sons of Jesse are paraded in front of him in the order of their birth. They are so tall! They are so handsome! This must be the future king! Samuel thinks. Or him! Or him! But God does not want Samuel to anoint any of them. None. Samuel begins to feel crazy. Did he come to the right house? Did he get the message straight? He sits there, dumbfounded. And then he asks the most important question of his life.

"Are these all of your sons?" he asks.

And finally, the little boy who tended the sheep is brought forward. And Samuel anoints him.

David will become an even greater king than Saul but he just did not look like the rest. He was so different.

Human beings are a bit mad. We live in a state of delusion. Christians call it sin. Hindus call it maya, or delusion. All of the great religions of the world agree on this point, that humans are a bit crazy. We have the capacity to do wonderful things but also the capacity to live our lives in a state of madness. This madness stems from our belief that things must stay the same. We make maps for ourselves, maps of how our lives ought to progress. From an early age, we draw up these maps based on the expectations of our parents or friends, pictures that we create in our minds of what success should look like. We then spend our lives listening to these maps, trying to follow them instead of listening to God.

I need to get married. I need to have kids. The kids should behave and do well in school. There should be harmony. Whatever our maps are, we keep looking at them and trying to force our lives to look like them. We stop listening, meanwhile God is parading the king in front of our eyes, but he doesn't look like what we expected so we pass him by.

King David has become the quintessential king for all Jews all over the world. Ironically, the young boy who was almost passed by has now become the new ideal. The Messiah was supposed to look like David, which was why so many people refused to recognize Jesus, because he did not act or look like what they expected. But everybody forgets that, at the beginning, no one thought David seemed kingly at all.

Jesus said that God' kingdom is like a mustard seed. It surprises you. What seems insignificant can make a huge impact in the world while the most impressive things just fade away. In other words, God's plans are so surprising but they are so much better than our crazy old maps.

Look at Lady Julian of the 14th century. She lived alone in a room. She wrote about God in such a way that most people thought she was mad. She called God he and she. She told us that everything would be OK in a time when plagues coursed through Europe killings thousands and God was seen as scary and unpredictable. Her writings were lost only to be found centuries later, at a time when we can see that she was a true prophet. And now her writings are read all over the world. She is famous and she never left her room. No one could have ever predicted that she would touch so many lives. She broke all the molds, erased all the maps, and did just what God asked of her.

The National Episcopal Church will meet in a few weeks to discuss the future of the church. Controversial issues such as the blessing of gay relationships and if we should give communion to people who are not baptized, these issues are on the table to be discussed and pondered. But the deeper question which underscores everything is about the future. What will our church look like in 50 years? This Cathedral is a rare beacon of growth and hope in a time when many Episcopal churches are shrinking and even dying. Denominations themselves seem to be blending together. What is to come next?

If we look to the story of David, we must believe that something new and unexpected will happen, that the church will change and it will look different than it has looked before. But we also will learn that it is God alone who knows what it will look like. Our job is to put aside our maps, our thoughts of the way that things should be, and listen. God will identify our new leaders, our new ways and hopes and dreams, but they may look very different from what we expected.

I love how, when Samuel has seen all of the brothers, he does not just leave in frustration, but he asks Jesse, "Are there any others?" He sticks around to ask the question which results in David's appearance.

That is what we should be asking God every day. Is this what you want? Where is my next step? My life may look different than anything that I could have imagined. Is this what you have in mind for me, God? Not my will, but yours be done.




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The Whale and the Trinity

Just last week a humpback whale was discovered by a fisherman in the ocean just off the coast from the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. The whale had gotten tangled in a series of crab traps and fishing lines. She seemed unable to move. The fisherman radioed for help.


The coast gaurd came along with volunteer divers from an environmental group. They quickly realized that the only way to free the whale was to cut her free, one wire at a time. They got their scuba gear, curved knives, and got to work.

The whale was surprisingly still, as if she knew exactly what they were doing. She did not flail or wriggle or try to fight. One man was assigned to get a wire trap out of her mouth. As he cut through the wires, she just looked at him out of her great eye, watching his every move. He said that he will never be the same.

It took many hours to cut her free, but when they finally succeeded, she did not just take off into the blue. Instead, she swam a number of joyous circles around and around and then returned to nudge each and every diver. She would swim up to them and butt them gently. It was her way of saying thank you.

Today is Trinity Sunday. It is the one day each year when we focus on the fact that God is Trinity. God is one and God is three. It is a mystical day when we try to talk about things that cannot be understood with the rational mind. It is a day of mystery in which we contemplate things that we cannot see.

In the gospel, Nicodemous is asking Jesus about God and Jesus is trying to explain that there is a whole other life beyond this physical one. But in order to experience this life, a person must be born by water and the Spirit. Nicodemous cannot understand Jesus because Jesus is talking about a reality that is new to him, a kind of life that he has never contemplated before. The Pharisees were so focused on following the rules that they did not ponder the unknown or mysterious aspects of God.

Jesus was trying to tell Nicodemous that those who are baptized have a life that is deeper and more true than the physical existence in which we live. In baptism, we are born to another life, a reality that exists eternally, a world that is more real than this one, and it is that world that is truly important.

The whale lives below the surface of the water. If we were to fly an airplane over that ocean and look down, we would not even see her, for she lives below the surface in another world made up of not air but water, not birds but fish. Everything's sounds different in her world. Everything looks different. And within this other world, she was all tangled up. She had gotten tangled up by all the cares and trappings of the world on the surface, but these trappings had effected her life below the surface. She was no longer joyful and could not swim. What the divers did was to release her to enjoy her life under the sea. They freed her so that she could dance again, and once she was free, she was full of joy and love.

God exists in dimensions that we cannot see. And yet, God is real, more real and more true than anything in this life. The first thing that Jesus asks us to do is just to acknowledge this reality, that God lives in us and that, in our baptism, we have a new life in God, a life below the surface, beyond our understanding, where there is eternity.

But the cares and occupations of this life can get us all tangled up. We can become consumed with thoughts about ourselves, our bodies, our loved ones, our jobs, our money. We get so consumed with all this that we begin to think that it is all there is. But a marriage, for example, cannot be successful if you put all your hopes on it and believe that it alone can complete you.

Take my friend up north, Jennifer. She is in her mid-thirties and finally met a man she would like to marry. But he is in the midst of a divorce from his first wife and he cannot think about getting married again right now. As much as he loves Jennifer, he cannot begin to contemplate marriage again. He is just not ready. So Jennifer has become more and more tangled up. The more she wants him to marry her, the needier she becomes. Her whole reality is tied up in her fantasy that marriage to him will make her life work. She is becoming a tangled up mess.

If Jennifer were to realize that her life was more than her status as single or married, that she had a life with God, a life of love and joy that began in her baptism, then she might not hold on so tightly. She would cut herself free from all the expectations and attachments and be able to love freely again.

Be careful to remember that this life, this dimension, is only the surface of the deeper life with God. Be careful not to measure your worth based on your successes or failures in this surface life. By worldly standards, Jesus himself was a complete disaster. But we all know he was so much more.

You are of infinite value. You are ageless, baptized ones. You are loved. Go and share this reality with everyone. You are born to something much more than just this surface life. Free yourself to dance there.

The Making of An Apostle

Montgomery Alabama. December 1, 1955 early evening. A woman in her mid-forties boards a bus. She carries herself in a dignified manner. You would not know from looking at her that she has been stooped over an ironing board all day. Her shoulders ache and her feet are swollen. She tasks a seat on the bus.

As the bus moves through the streets of Montgomery, Alabama, it fills with people on their way home from work. After a few stops, the driver turns to look at the woman. He tells her that she needs to move so that a white person can take her seat.

With one word, Rosa Parks changes the course of American history. Just one word, spoken quietly. She just said,

"No."

When the policeman came to arrest her, she told him that this did not make sense, that it wasn't fair. He told her that he agreed, it wasn't fair, but it was the law.

Later that evening, thousands of people would gather at a Baptist Church in a poor section of Montgomery. At that church, Dr. King would say, "There comes a time when people get tired of being trampled over by the iron feet of oppression."

There comes a time in the life of a person.


Two thousand years ago, one hundred and twenty people met together in a room. They all had known and loved Jesus and he was gone. After appearing to them in joyful encounters, he had been lifted out of their very sight. And they had no idea what they were to do next.

Peter addressed the group. "Jesus chose twelve of us but now there are only eleven. Judas Iscariot has left us for good. We must fill his seat at the table, so that there are twelve once more." The number twelve was sacred. There were twelve tribes of Israel. So there must be twelve to continue Jesus' work in the world.

Peter says, "We have discussed this matter and identified two men who could fill this seat. One is Joseph or Barsabas, sometimes called Justus, and the other is Matthias."

I can just picture Matthias, standing there in the middle of the crowd, thinking, "Who, me?

What about that guy over there?

I didn't know Jesus well enough.

I am not ready.

This could be a lot of work.

Where is the door?

There comes a time in the life of a human being...when God asks you to do something, to serve. And you must decide if you are going to step up to the plate.

The name Matthias is the same word as disciple in the ancient Greek. A disciple is literally one who learns, one who sits at the feet of a master and absorbs. An apprentice.

I believe that there are three basic stages in the life of a Christian. The first is baptism, when God opens the kingdom of God to us and our resurrection life begins. Though God welcomes us, we must spend a lifetime saying yes to that invitation.

The second stage is that of this disciple. When we realize that we want to devote the time and energy to learn about Jesus, to try to imitate him. So we attend worship, we study and read. In order for the discipleship stage to be complete, we must also join a small group of fellow believers, where we can honestly speak about our joys and sorrows.

Then, at some point, God will invite us into the third and final stage of the life of faith. This is the life of the apostle. The word apostle means one who is sent. The twelve were called disciples during Jesus' life on earth, but after his resurrection and ascension, they became known as apostles. Because God said, "Time's up. It's your turn. I need you to do my work in the world."

The invitation that the spirit makes for a person to become an apostle happens completely individually and often unexpectedly. Rosa Parks had no idea that she was to start a Civil Rights movement that would rage to the Supreme Court itself. Matthias had no idea he would take his place at the table. They were just being faithful when the moment came. It was just their time.

So we must study, pray, worship, give and watch for the moments when something is asked of us, when we are sent.

Helen was born and raised in Germany. At the age of 23, she fell madly on love with an American graduate student. When he asked her the marry him, she was thrilled. Then they moved to Cincinnati, Ohio.

At 23, Helen was living in a foreign country with a man who she did not know so well. Soon, she was pregnant with their first child. A baby girl, she was born healthy and extremely demanding. Helen felt both exhausted and alone.

As a baptized Christian, Helen knew enough to find a church. She loved that place. People held her baby and asked her how she was doing. She felt loved.

There was an apostle at that church. Her name was Sarah. Every week, she was sent by God not very far away, to the nursing home near the church. There she brought communion to people who were to frail to come to church.

At the nursing home, Sarah met Brigette. Brigette was an elderly widow. She had recently lost her husband. They had been married for over fifty years. After his death, Bridgette stopped speaking. The staff was at a loss and asked Sarah to pray for her. They happened to mention that Bridgette was born in Germany and her family had immigrated to the US when she was in high school.

As Sarah was praying for this silent woman, Helen's face came to her mind. She remembered the new young woman from Germany. So Sarah approached Helen after church the next Sunday and asked her to come to the nursing home.

And Helen had all the same thoughts as Matthias, "Who me? I am managing a toddler! I am exhausted all the time! Someone needs to care for me! Where is the door?" But Helen did not speak all these thoughts. She just agreed.

Helen entered Bridgette's room later that afternoon. In German, she introduced herself and told Bridgette how happy she was to meet her.

It was like a river of words exploded from Bridgett's mouth. She could not stop talking and crying in her native German.

Helen ended up visiting Bridgette every day. Bridgette found a reason to speak, a reason to live. And Helen learned how to be a good mother.

A moment will come for you too. The moment of an apostle. Will you let yourself be sent?

Abide in my Love

Anna sat on the back porch of her dream house. She and her husband, Malcomb, had finally succeeded in buying a home on the river. Her favorite thing to do was to go out on the back porch in the early morning with a cup of coffee, look at the river and watch the birds. She and her husband had a massive bird-feeder. It had many places for the birds to perch and eat. But without fail, every morning, the birds would get into a massive fight. They would flap and chirp and bite at one another in a desperate dance to compete for what they thought were the few spaces to eat. It was mass chaos as they made a racket flying into one another and squawking loudly. Anna would just sit back and laugh. They were such comical creatures, fighting and screeching when there was enough food and enough room for all of them.


When JD and I met we were both in a high-powered universe. He was a student at Yale Law School and I was about to begin at Yale Divinity School. The pressure to succeed in these places was high, you could cut the tension with a knife. Sometimes, we just wanted to flee.


We decided to go to Toronto, Canada, to visit a Christian community of handicapped people called L'Arche. There was a famous Catholic priest who lived there. He had given up a promising career at Yale and Harvard in order to live among the developmentally disabled. His story inspired us, so we went.

I will never forget sitting alone with Henri Nouwen as we described the stress of Yale, how everyone was competing for the best clerkships, the best jobs. He listened and then he smiled.

"All that competition," he said. "You know what I think that it is? It is just a group of people trying to be loved."

I thought about that. There we were squawking and butting heads for the few prestigious positions out there. And all we were really trying to do was to prove that we were worthy of being loved, worthy of being alive, worthy of being.

I had an uncle named James. He married into the family by marrying my fathers sister. He was handsome and smart, a history professor at Bowdoin College in Maine. He could tell great jokes and was always the life of the party. But underneath the smiles and degrees, he was deeply unhappy.

James suffered from depression. This was many years ago. We did not always know what to call it. Sometimes, my fathers sister called it melancholia, or sadness, bad moods. He would just disappear for days, go to some cabin, some far away place, lock himself in a room and listen to music until it passed. We would all beg him to stay, but he would go off, to try and protect the rest of us from his moods. But we were not protected.

One summer, we were all at a family reunion. James decided to return home early. Once he arrived at home, he went up to the attic, took a lot of pills, put on his earphones and some of his favorite music, and left us for good.

I can still see his three boys. They were so young at the time. And he just left them because he could not believe that things could get better. They stood by the car as their father drove away. Stay with us, they said. Just stay.

Jesus told his disciples to love one another. It is part of the Great Commandment. Love the Lord your God and Love your Neighbor as Yourself. But before he gives us this great commandment, he tells us something that puts the Great Commandment in perspective. He says, Abide in my love.

Abide in my love. The word in the ancient greek means to stay, to remain. Stay in my love. Stay with me, Jesus said. Live and remain in my love and all the rest of it will come easily to you.

When you were created, God made you out of love. God did not need you for company or pleasure, God was just dancing. God was just in love and you were the product of that love. But we separated ourselves from that perfect love and we abandoned God, leaving Eden and wandering all over the place, fighting for enough food, for enough love. When all the time, God made enough for us. There is more than enough love for all of us.

Did you know that your heart is so strong that it pumps enough blood in your lifetime to fill our sanctuary over 100 times? Your heart is powerful. And it is human. Can you imagine the heart of God, the capacity that the Divine One has to love you? Sometimes I wonder if we hide from Gods love not just because it is too bright to contemplate but also because we ourselves are more powerful than we realize. It is our own capacity to love God in return that scares us even more.

What would the world be like if we really trusted in God's love? We could feed every single human being on the planet. We could stop competing and maneuvering and discover that there is more than enough for all of us. Instead, we forget God's love. Quietly, we slip away into self-hatred. We forget who we are, who God created us to be. Our hearts sink into the mundane morass of daily living until we are no longer fully alive, no longer aware of the love of God.

That is why, Sunday after Sunday, as we approach the altar, I must say to you, "Lift up your hearts." Because we must rise to remember God's love. We must lift up our hearts to try, once again to dwell in that incomprehensible goodness.

We are like fishes swimming in the great sea looking for water. Just live in my love, Jesus says. Wake up to how much I have adored you since the moment you were born. Open your eyes. My food has been here for you all along. It lays before you at my table. There it is. There is enough for everyone.

Failure and Forgiveness

Peter loved Jesus. He loved him so much that he could not be separated from Him. He followed him everywhere and when Jesus escaped alone to a mountain to pray, Peter and the disciples would go searching for Jesus. When they found him, they would scold Jesus for worrying them, like some kind of neurotic mother of an adult son. He simply could not let Jesus out of his sight.


So it is hard to believe that Peter said these words,


"I do not know the man."


In the night before Jesus' crucifixion, when all seemed lost and the soldiers had come to take Jesus away, Peter denied him. Not just once, but three times. Peter was afraid and Peter failed. He failed miserably. After all his devotion and time and worries and questions, when the rubber hit the road, he ran and hid. He left his master alone to die.


I cannot imagine the agony he went through after his denial. The Scripture says that he broke down and wept. I can just picture it, a burly fisherman falling to his knees in the dark courtyard in Jerusalem, crying his eyes out. Crying because he failed.


What worse thing could you do than deny the one you love? Peter ruined his life.


Judas also failed Jesus by selling his friendship for gold and leading the soldiers to capture Jesus. But there is one crucial difference between Peter and Judas. When Peter failed, he did not despair. He waited. He stayed in his pain and in his failure.  Whereas Judas despaired and took his own life.


I have always believed that Jesus would have forgiven Judas, that even now, Jesus waits an eternity to break bread with Judas.  But Judas could not trust that forgiveness, not in this life.


I went to Oklahoma to speak this weekend. The Bishop told us a story about his childhood. When he was a very little boy, his mother would become violently ill.  The Bishop did not say what kind of illness took her, but he said that there were times, more than once, when his mother had to be rushed to the hospital. And the women of their small Episcopal church would come to his house, in the middle of the night, and they would care for him and his brother, fix them something to eat, tell them that everything was going to be OK, tuck them in bed. 


When the world felt like it was caving in, these women would come. And they would fill the emptiness and fear with their love. It is no wonder that when he grew up, he devoted his life to the church.


When everything fell apart for Peter, Jesus still loved him. Jesus loved Peter, even when he failed to stay. Even when he denied everything, Jesus still loved him and came back to him. For the Good Shepherd will always love the sheep, no matter how stupid we are. We can always turn around and come back to Him.


It was Jesus' forgiveness that changed Peter forever. Because once you realize that you have nothing to be afraid of, once you have realized that you already made your biggest mistake and God still loves you, then, well, then you are a force to be reckoned with.


Failure is not something to be afraid of. No, failure can be a great instrument of resurrection and forgiveness, especially if the one who fails speaks the truth and admits their mistakes.  Failure is not the adversary of Resurrection. Rather, the antithesis of Resurrection is despair.


If God can forgive and live eternally, then there is no reason for us to ever despair. And no decisions should ever be made when you are feeling bleak or hopeless. Instead, wait. Give it time and wait for the dawn.


When Peter saw Jesus on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, when he saw his Shepherd, he leaps into the water with courage and purpose, and from that moment on, he does not fail.


Listen to the Peter that we hear about in the Book of Acts. He is another person from the Peter of the Gospels. He is confident. He is faithful. He seems to have no questions but rather answers the questions of others. He even performs miracles in the name of Jesus.  He is changed forever by the power of forgiveness.


It really is that good, to be loved by God. There is nothing that God will not forgive. The Good Shepherd will go to the ends of the earth for the sheep. And once you know that, there is nothing to be afraid of.