When Jesus went to pray, he usually went alone. He would walk off by himself. “I am going up the mountain to pray,” is all that he would say. And off he went. What happened up there between Jesus and God was a mystery, and no doubt the disciples wondered. Jesus did not seem to feel guilt or the complicated emotions that come with trying to please people, he just did what God asked him to do. And God wanted to be alone with the Son, a lot.
So it must have been a shock when Jesus asked three disciples to accompany him up the mountain. “Peter,” he said, “James. John.” “I want you to come up the mountain with me.”
What an incredible privilege, to go with Jesus to pray. They must have felt as if they had been invited into the in group. This was it. They were going with Jesus into his inner world. He must truly trust them. It must have been like when a friend finally invites you into their home for a meal but even more intimate. This was Jesus’ inner sanctum.
The Scripture tells us that Mt. Tabor was the mountain. And Mt. Tabor is no joke. It’s not Mt. Everest by any means but it would take at least four or five hours to walk to the top. My husband and I drove a tiny white rental car up Mount Tabor years ago and it took awhile. I wondered if our car would make it. Walking with Jesus on foot would have been a true hike.
Why was it that God chose mountains? Moses was instructed by God to climb a Mountain as well. Mt. Sinai, and there God revealed the Ten Commandments to Moses. Moses too had a face that shone so brightly that no one could look at him. And Elijah, he found God on a mountain. Was it the mountain air? The High altitude? Was it partially because the ancients believed that heaven was up and hell was down? Was it just that mountains are hard to climb and it is easy to be alone there? For whatever the reason, Jesus met God on the mountain, just like the prophets did before him. He encountered God in a place that was not easy to get to. And when Jesus came into direct contact with God, his appearance changed.
In many of the world religions, those who encounter God directly always are painted with light shining from their face. They seem to glow. Travel the world and you will see pictures of Krishna in Hinduism, The Buddha, Moses and Elijah and others with light that emanates from their heads. Some call it a halo, some have no words for it.
What happened to Jesus made a halo look like small potatoes. He became light itself. The Gospel of Matthew says that he becomes dazzling, blinding. The disciples found it hard to look at him. And the brightest part was his face. He radiated light.
When Moses was on the mountain, and he asked to see God, God told him that he could not look, but he could look at God’s backside, or the ancient Hebrew really means at the place where God “just was.” And when Moses came down the mountain, his face seemed to shine with light.
Einstein based his entire theory of Relativity on light, as if the Universe hinged on the stuff. So it does not come as a surprise to me that God would show up as light. After all, it was the first created thing. God separated the light from the darkness. God is the opposite of nothing, the opposite of darkness. God is light.
I have no doubt that those who are close to God glow. I have seen it. Even my friend Marcella, when she went on a silent retreat to meditate all day, seemed to have light shining from her eyes when she came home. When I visit the sick or dying, you can see light shining from the eyes of those who love God. It is just so obvious. God seems to have some kind of residual effect and those who encounter God shine.
Moses and Elijah also showed up. I know how strange that must sound. Two dead guys appear. They were standing all around smiling like they are at some kind of family reunion.
I believe that true communion with God involves communion with those who we love who have died. That is why we call it communion. It is a gathering of all who we love. Everybody is there. God simply embraces them all. The Church calls this the communion of saints. To have a love affair with God is to see God in the people you love and the people you love become part of God. Those who we love return to us within the heart of God. So Moses and Elijah, who lived in God, came to visit Jesus, to stand with him in his ministry.
All this light and communion of saints was so beautiful that Peter freaks out. And how does he respond? He gets busy. Just like us. Peter decides he needs to package this moment, to hold onto it. He decides to plan out a few homes to let the saints reside there for a bit. “Don’t move,” he says. “I want you all to stay just this way and I will make houses for each of you and we can just stay here, right here. Let’s just freeze the moment.” I can just hear Peter’s plans in his mind. Size, shape, dimension, how long they will take to make, the kind of materials he will need. He gets so involved with his idea, so distracted, that God has to interrupt.
God speaks. “This is my Son! Listen to Him!”
Peter and James and John fall on their knees. They are scared. Terrified. It was not the picture of Jesus standing their blinding them, nor was it the appearance of the prophets that terrified them, it was God’s words that scared them. God spoke and Peter was afraid.
Why was he afraid? Why do all of us get scared when we come close to encountering God? Why do we say we want to grow closer to God but then run if God gets too close? What is it that we are so afraid of?
I think that, at that very moment, when heaven met earth, Peter was scared because he realized a fundamental truth. Peter realized that his life was not about him. He realized that although he, Peter, was loved, he was not the center of the Universe. He realized that it was time for his life to be about someone else.
In each of our lives, we have one fundamental choice that we are asked to make. Is your life going to be about YOU or is it going to be about God? We are asked this question over and over and over again. Who is going to be the center of your Universe?
When you pray, many of us talk. We send up lists to God of the sick and the grieving, of our own needs and those of others. But God told Peter to listen. God told Peter that it was not his agenda that was important. Peter did not know what was best. He was not capable of planning what to do in that moment. His attempt at trying to orchestrate the transfiguration fell flat, just like your attempt to orchestrate your life will fall flat. You are not designed to direct and rule your life. Only God can do that.
“This is my Son,” God says. “The Beloved. Listen to Him!”
In other words, it is not about you, Peter or you, John or me or Sally or my elderly aunt Sherry. It is not even about you when you are sick or suffering, when you are struggling to raise a child or figure out what you are supposed to do with your life. It is not about You. It is about Him. And your life will not work, it will not even come close to working, until you get that straight.
Our job is not to plan or manage or orchestrate. It is to listen. It is to listen.
Maybe that’s why Jesus took them up the mountain. So that they could look down and see how vast and beautiful it was below. So that they, for just a moment, could realize that they did not see everything clearly. Does a child make its own decisions about what to eat and when to sleep? No, the parents decide all that and the child must listen. And we too, as children of God, we must listen to the God who made us and knows who we truly are.
It took Peter until after his betrayal to realize that his life was about Jesus and not about himself. And when he finally handed his life over to God, that is when he became powerful. That is when the church began.
Letting your life be about God is truly scary. It terrifies me. It terrified Peter. But it’s the only way to be.
Just be still and listen.
