I am sitting here surrounded by boxes. Leaving Kansas makes me want to write about some of the many ways I have seen Christ here. I have seen so many incredible people, I wish I could write about all of them. But here is a start.
Keith Johnson was the Junior Warden of St. James years ago. He was a concert pianist and music teacher. He loved to work at the church, care for the building and organize parishioners. Then he suffered from a major stroke.
Imagine not being able to play your music, or even to speak. He has difficulty walking. His thoughts don't arrange themselves clearly into sentences. His life was completely altered forever, and yet, he does not feel sorry for himself. Time and again, he has called me to his house to ask what he can do for the church. Finally, we came up with an answer.
Keith brings a small stool with him and places it in the bride's room, at the entrance to the sanctuary. He comes early to our 11:15 service every Sunday and he greets people. He holds out his hand and warmly says hello, welcoming them to worship. He is wonderful at this and I see Jesus whenever I watch him. Even though he cannot say much, there is no one better at welcoming people. In Keith, I catch a glimpse of Christ.
More stories on Jesus in Kansas will be coming in the next few days...
In Christ's love,
Kate+
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Saying Goodbye
I had to say goodbye to St. James Church yesterday. After seven wonderful years, I found myself in tears. It was hard to hold myself together as I looked into the faces of so many beautiful people. I will truly miss this great church.
The Scripture readings seemed to be all about letting go. Job had everything taken from him and was miserable and angry at God. The Psalmist wondered if God had abandoned him. And in the gospel, a man approaches Jesus and falls down on his knees.
"What can I do to get into heaven?" he asks.
Jesus tells him to obey the commandments and the man explains that he has done all that since his youth. Jesus looks at the man and loves him.
When God looks at you and loves you, you often are asked to do more. And sure enough, Jesus pays the man the highest compliment. He invites the man to come with him. "Go," he says, "Sell everything that you own, give the money to the poor and come, follow me."
This was such an honor. Whole crowds tried to follow Jesus and he would slip away. He only asked his disciples to follow him. This was the greatest opportunity that would ever occur to this man, the greatest treasure he could ever be offered. But he said no.
This man, the rich man we now call him, was unable to leave his stuff. He was so comfortable that he couldn't disturb that comfort, not even for the Son of God. And so he left grieving. And he ended up the poorest of all, for he let Jesus pass him by.
It is so hard, how God has created us. Over and over again in this life, we are asked to say goodbye. God seems to be teaching us that we cannot hold on to anything that is of this world. The more we try to hold on to our stuff or to each other, the more miserable we become. There is a world of difference between love and attachment, but many of us never really learn the difference.
I wonder sometimes if the greatest obstacle in the spiritual life is not sin at all but just our own comfort. We will do almost anything to have things stay the same.
This past Saturday, I went to the fiftieth reunion of one of my parishioners. I sat at a table with these older folks and one of them gave me a pearl of wisdom. "Kate," he said, "It's funny to witness how we change over the years. At our 10 year reunion, we all pose and compete. We compair our jobs, we try to show off how great we look, how we haven't gained a pound since high school. Then by our 20th, we all compair kids, but we may let down our gaurds a bit to admit that married life is harder than we thought, or that we are not always sure how to be good parents. By the 50th reunion, everything has changed. We have had to let go of so much. So many of our classmates have died. We don't care who is doing what or who has made the most money. All we care about is the fact that we are here together. We laugh and cry. We tell stories. We enjoy one another, because we can no longer hold on. As hard as it has been to let go, we are wiser. We know how to truly live. "
It is so hard to say goodbye to this parish, but I know that God has great things in store for them and for me. Look at how the disciples improved after Jesus left. They were such bumblers while he was with them. They didn't want him to go, but then they became everything that God called them to be once he was gone.
I take these beautiful people with me for I have truly seen Jesus here in Kansas. And I know that God will bless all of us as we say goodbye.
The Scripture readings seemed to be all about letting go. Job had everything taken from him and was miserable and angry at God. The Psalmist wondered if God had abandoned him. And in the gospel, a man approaches Jesus and falls down on his knees.
"What can I do to get into heaven?" he asks.
Jesus tells him to obey the commandments and the man explains that he has done all that since his youth. Jesus looks at the man and loves him.
When God looks at you and loves you, you often are asked to do more. And sure enough, Jesus pays the man the highest compliment. He invites the man to come with him. "Go," he says, "Sell everything that you own, give the money to the poor and come, follow me."
This was such an honor. Whole crowds tried to follow Jesus and he would slip away. He only asked his disciples to follow him. This was the greatest opportunity that would ever occur to this man, the greatest treasure he could ever be offered. But he said no.
This man, the rich man we now call him, was unable to leave his stuff. He was so comfortable that he couldn't disturb that comfort, not even for the Son of God. And so he left grieving. And he ended up the poorest of all, for he let Jesus pass him by.
It is so hard, how God has created us. Over and over again in this life, we are asked to say goodbye. God seems to be teaching us that we cannot hold on to anything that is of this world. The more we try to hold on to our stuff or to each other, the more miserable we become. There is a world of difference between love and attachment, but many of us never really learn the difference.
I wonder sometimes if the greatest obstacle in the spiritual life is not sin at all but just our own comfort. We will do almost anything to have things stay the same.
This past Saturday, I went to the fiftieth reunion of one of my parishioners. I sat at a table with these older folks and one of them gave me a pearl of wisdom. "Kate," he said, "It's funny to witness how we change over the years. At our 10 year reunion, we all pose and compete. We compair our jobs, we try to show off how great we look, how we haven't gained a pound since high school. Then by our 20th, we all compair kids, but we may let down our gaurds a bit to admit that married life is harder than we thought, or that we are not always sure how to be good parents. By the 50th reunion, everything has changed. We have had to let go of so much. So many of our classmates have died. We don't care who is doing what or who has made the most money. All we care about is the fact that we are here together. We laugh and cry. We tell stories. We enjoy one another, because we can no longer hold on. As hard as it has been to let go, we are wiser. We know how to truly live. "
It is so hard to say goodbye to this parish, but I know that God has great things in store for them and for me. Look at how the disciples improved after Jesus left. They were such bumblers while he was with them. They didn't want him to go, but then they became everything that God called them to be once he was gone.
I take these beautiful people with me for I have truly seen Jesus here in Kansas. And I know that God will bless all of us as we say goodbye.
Friday, August 07, 2009
The Insatiable Nature of Sin
When I was a teenager, I got obsessed with a soap opera. It was called General Hospital. Everyone on the show was gorgeous and they all seemed independently wealthy. Everyone had high-powered jobs, but they never seemed to work. And oh, the drama was intense! Despite their beauty and wealth, no one was ever complete. Nothing seemed to be enough. There was always one more love affair, one more lost twin to discover, one more tragedy to occur. I watched General Hospital for three months and by the end of the summer, I had my fill. The drama continued on without me.
There is a portion of the Old Testament that reminds me of a soap opera. It is called the Succession Narrative and it occurs at the end of II Samuel and well into I Kings. It begins with the story of King David, a man who had everything. David was ruler of a united Israel. He was wealthier than any of us can imagine. He had multiple wives, tons of servants and everything a man could want to eat. He clearly had enough, but somehow his appetite was not yet satiated.
David was walking on his rooftop in the late afternoon to escape the heat of the day. Because he was king, his rooftop was the highest. He could look down upon the city of Jerusalem and view his kingdom. That afternoon, he saw someone bathing. Her name was Bathsheeba and she was beautiful. And David wanted her. Despite the fact that he had everything a man could want, he felt that it was not enough. He must have HER. And so David took her into his bed. She was a married woman.
David’s sin begins to snowball, as sin often does. Bathsheeba becomes pregnant. David invites her husband home from battle and assumes that he will sleep with his wife, thus covering up David’s indiscretion. But Uriah does not lie with his wife. He is a moral man who cannot enjoy such luxury while his soldiers die in battle.
David tries to get him drunk and still Uriah does not sleep with his wife. So David instructs his general to place Uriah on the front line and then have the soldiers fall back so that he will be killed.
Lust becomes adultery which turns to lies and finally murder. And all of this occurred because David could not say when. He could not say no to his desire.
David's story reminds me of Eve in the Garden of Eden. I can just picture her reaching for the forbidden fruit. She had everything that she could ever need and yet she could not refrain from satiating her every desire. Even the Garden of Eden was not enough for her. She had to take what wasn’t offered and that was her downfall.
I believe that the root of much of our sinfulness lies in our inability to distinguish between our needs and our wants. We must be able to say no to our desires, it is a crucial part of the Christian journey. Not being able to say no to the insatiable needs of the self leads to destruction for all of us.
Everything about American culture tells us that we must have it all. Our consumer-driven economy is dependent on increasing our needs and desires. The advertisements tell us that we must have this product and we must have that product. Our desire seems to be never-ending.
There is now a pile of trash in the Pacific Ocean that is twice the size of Texas. It is hurting the ocean life, but we are still unable to keep taking what is not ours. Our consumption has not been curbed and our disposal of enormous amounts of trash continues. Eve takes that fruit over and over and over again.
Only Jesus can teach us how to say when. Only Jesus can tell us that it is enough. Listen to his voice. You have everything that you could possibly need. There is so much to be thankful for.
Try walking through Walmart and say to yourself, “I have everything that I need.” You have been given everything, everything. Let us say ENOUGH and give thanks.
There is a portion of the Old Testament that reminds me of a soap opera. It is called the Succession Narrative and it occurs at the end of II Samuel and well into I Kings. It begins with the story of King David, a man who had everything. David was ruler of a united Israel. He was wealthier than any of us can imagine. He had multiple wives, tons of servants and everything a man could want to eat. He clearly had enough, but somehow his appetite was not yet satiated.
David was walking on his rooftop in the late afternoon to escape the heat of the day. Because he was king, his rooftop was the highest. He could look down upon the city of Jerusalem and view his kingdom. That afternoon, he saw someone bathing. Her name was Bathsheeba and she was beautiful. And David wanted her. Despite the fact that he had everything a man could want, he felt that it was not enough. He must have HER. And so David took her into his bed. She was a married woman.
David’s sin begins to snowball, as sin often does. Bathsheeba becomes pregnant. David invites her husband home from battle and assumes that he will sleep with his wife, thus covering up David’s indiscretion. But Uriah does not lie with his wife. He is a moral man who cannot enjoy such luxury while his soldiers die in battle.
David tries to get him drunk and still Uriah does not sleep with his wife. So David instructs his general to place Uriah on the front line and then have the soldiers fall back so that he will be killed.
Lust becomes adultery which turns to lies and finally murder. And all of this occurred because David could not say when. He could not say no to his desire.
David's story reminds me of Eve in the Garden of Eden. I can just picture her reaching for the forbidden fruit. She had everything that she could ever need and yet she could not refrain from satiating her every desire. Even the Garden of Eden was not enough for her. She had to take what wasn’t offered and that was her downfall.
I believe that the root of much of our sinfulness lies in our inability to distinguish between our needs and our wants. We must be able to say no to our desires, it is a crucial part of the Christian journey. Not being able to say no to the insatiable needs of the self leads to destruction for all of us.
Everything about American culture tells us that we must have it all. Our consumer-driven economy is dependent on increasing our needs and desires. The advertisements tell us that we must have this product and we must have that product. Our desire seems to be never-ending.
There is now a pile of trash in the Pacific Ocean that is twice the size of Texas. It is hurting the ocean life, but we are still unable to keep taking what is not ours. Our consumption has not been curbed and our disposal of enormous amounts of trash continues. Eve takes that fruit over and over and over again.
Only Jesus can teach us how to say when. Only Jesus can tell us that it is enough. Listen to his voice. You have everything that you could possibly need. There is so much to be thankful for.
Try walking through Walmart and say to yourself, “I have everything that I need.” You have been given everything, everything. Let us say ENOUGH and give thanks.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Responding to Dr. Tiller's Death
My Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
I am writing to you with great sadness. As all of you know, yesterday Dr. George Tiller was assassinated in the narthex of Reformation Lutheran Church. I feel the need to write to you to explain how we as Christians and as Episcopalians are called to respond.
The greatest gift of the Episcopal Church is our ability to disagree, to think and to dialogue within the context of our faith. We are a church where you can bring your questions, your doubts, your disagreements and know that you are loved by God. I know that members of this church have many differing views on the issue of abortion. No matter what your perspective, this issue can never be resolved by violence.
When we disagree, it is an opportunity that God gives us to deepen our understanding and reach one another. Relationship is nothing without dischord, it is what makes us stronger. Resorting to violence is an act of despair. It tears at the fabric of our community. The only way to respond to such violence is to double our efforts to communicate with one another, to reach out in love and respect, to pray for one another.
Please join me in praying for Dr. Tiller’s family and loved ones, for Reformation Church and for the man who chose to murder Dr. Tiller. I will be in the sanctuary here at St. James at 7:30 pm this Wednesday night. If you wish to join me, we can say Evening Prayer and pray for this community and this city.
The Episcopal Clergy of this Convocation, along with Bishop Wolfe, have drafted a statement which should reach the paper tomorrow.
God bless you all.
In Christ’s love,
Kate+
I am writing to you with great sadness. As all of you know, yesterday Dr. George Tiller was assassinated in the narthex of Reformation Lutheran Church. I feel the need to write to you to explain how we as Christians and as Episcopalians are called to respond.
The greatest gift of the Episcopal Church is our ability to disagree, to think and to dialogue within the context of our faith. We are a church where you can bring your questions, your doubts, your disagreements and know that you are loved by God. I know that members of this church have many differing views on the issue of abortion. No matter what your perspective, this issue can never be resolved by violence.
When we disagree, it is an opportunity that God gives us to deepen our understanding and reach one another. Relationship is nothing without dischord, it is what makes us stronger. Resorting to violence is an act of despair. It tears at the fabric of our community. The only way to respond to such violence is to double our efforts to communicate with one another, to reach out in love and respect, to pray for one another.
Please join me in praying for Dr. Tiller’s family and loved ones, for Reformation Church and for the man who chose to murder Dr. Tiller. I will be in the sanctuary here at St. James at 7:30 pm this Wednesday night. If you wish to join me, we can say Evening Prayer and pray for this community and this city.
The Episcopal Clergy of this Convocation, along with Bishop Wolfe, have drafted a statement which should reach the paper tomorrow.
God bless you all.
In Christ’s love,
Kate+
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Naming the Holy Spirit
I am grateful that I have to wear a black shirt and a collar every day to work because I have absolutely no style at all. If I had to put together an outfit every day, it would be a nightmare for me.
My husaband and I have a running joke. If I step out of the closet and ask him, "Does this work?" The answer is always, "NO." In fact, these days JD won't even look up from what he is doing. If I step out of the closet and ask him if an outfit works, he will say no without even looking up.
In all the years that I have been a priest, about once a month or so, someone will ask to speak with me in private. They will tell me about a miracle that occurred to them. One woman told how she saw a strange man across a crowded room some seventy years ago and she heard a voice say, "That is your husband." And they did marry and stayed married for over sixty years. Another woman was widowed in her thirties with two small children. She stopped at a traffic light one day, feeling completely lost and overwhelmed, and a presence of peace came over her, a peace like nothing she had ever felt before.
People tell me these incredible stories that they don't dare mention to anyone else and then they ask me the same question,
"Was that God?"
And my answer is always, "YES!"
In fact, I don't even need to hear their stories anymore. The answer is always YES.
The season of the Holy Spirit is approaching. Pentecost. It is a season of great mystery, of wild miracles and people who speak in tongues. But we have become shy when it comes to speaking of the Holy Spirit. We worry that people will think we are mentally unstable or somehow medieval. We are afraid to name God's activity among us for fear of being judged by others.
In Peter's day, it was not embarrassing to name God's presence. It was considered an honor to be visited by God. So Peter spoke openly about his visions and his faith in Jesus. He loved to speak of the Holy Spirit.
A friend of mine lost her grandson when he was just 15 years old. He loved to play golf. His name was Chris. Every year, on the day of his death, his family plays a round of golf. It is their way of celebrating his life.
This year, it was pouring down rain when the grandmother and her son (the boy's father) found themselves trying to play golf. They both felt like fools. They could hardly see the ball. Chris' dad teed up and promptly hit the ball into a pond. So they went over to the pond, already sopping wet, to fish out the ball.
Chris' dad managed to salvage the ball from the pond, but he just stood there looking at it. His mom came over to see what was wrong. Without a word, he handed her the ball. There, written in someone's handwriting was his name, Chris.
Name it-The Holy Spirit. It is God's activity among us. It is the idea that just pops into your head from nowhere. It is the math problem that you couldn't solve that just seems to resolve itself in your mind in your sleep. It is running into just the person you needed to see. It is the smile on the face of your loved ones. Name it!
Don't be afraid to name it. You are not crazy. You are just Christian.
My husaband and I have a running joke. If I step out of the closet and ask him, "Does this work?" The answer is always, "NO." In fact, these days JD won't even look up from what he is doing. If I step out of the closet and ask him if an outfit works, he will say no without even looking up.
In all the years that I have been a priest, about once a month or so, someone will ask to speak with me in private. They will tell me about a miracle that occurred to them. One woman told how she saw a strange man across a crowded room some seventy years ago and she heard a voice say, "That is your husband." And they did marry and stayed married for over sixty years. Another woman was widowed in her thirties with two small children. She stopped at a traffic light one day, feeling completely lost and overwhelmed, and a presence of peace came over her, a peace like nothing she had ever felt before.
People tell me these incredible stories that they don't dare mention to anyone else and then they ask me the same question,
"Was that God?"
And my answer is always, "YES!"
In fact, I don't even need to hear their stories anymore. The answer is always YES.
The season of the Holy Spirit is approaching. Pentecost. It is a season of great mystery, of wild miracles and people who speak in tongues. But we have become shy when it comes to speaking of the Holy Spirit. We worry that people will think we are mentally unstable or somehow medieval. We are afraid to name God's activity among us for fear of being judged by others.
In Peter's day, it was not embarrassing to name God's presence. It was considered an honor to be visited by God. So Peter spoke openly about his visions and his faith in Jesus. He loved to speak of the Holy Spirit.
A friend of mine lost her grandson when he was just 15 years old. He loved to play golf. His name was Chris. Every year, on the day of his death, his family plays a round of golf. It is their way of celebrating his life.
This year, it was pouring down rain when the grandmother and her son (the boy's father) found themselves trying to play golf. They both felt like fools. They could hardly see the ball. Chris' dad teed up and promptly hit the ball into a pond. So they went over to the pond, already sopping wet, to fish out the ball.
Chris' dad managed to salvage the ball from the pond, but he just stood there looking at it. His mom came over to see what was wrong. Without a word, he handed her the ball. There, written in someone's handwriting was his name, Chris.
Name it-The Holy Spirit. It is God's activity among us. It is the idea that just pops into your head from nowhere. It is the math problem that you couldn't solve that just seems to resolve itself in your mind in your sleep. It is running into just the person you needed to see. It is the smile on the face of your loved ones. Name it!
Don't be afraid to name it. You are not crazy. You are just Christian.
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